#14 - November FUN - Dance4Life, B'day Celebration, World Cup qualifications, Harambe on RFI, Derek's blog, Men in my life, Words from mom.

Friday (11/13) 

Have you heard of DANCE4LIFE??? It's an international group, established in 19 countries, reaching over 500,000 young people. They are challenging the way the HIV pandemic is addressed. They involve young people, who constitute half of the people affected with HIV, and empower them to push back the spread of HIV and AIDS through Dancing. Dance4Life's aim is to create a Global Youth movement of 1 million agents of change in 34 countries by 2014.

It's a revolutionary and pragmatic approach to HIV and AIDS. I met the country-director of Dance4life - Cameroon last week. As soon as I understood the project, I became a fervent fan, and advocate. They invited me to their dance practice on Friday. Their trainers from the UK were  also present, and organizing skill building workshops for the local dancers. At the end of the workshop/practice the group of 24 dancers performed their  dance, specially for me :-) I loved it!  It was upbeat, synchronized, and full of energy! Check them out at Dance4life.com 

Friday Night:

My collegue at UNICEF invited me out for my
post-b’day celebration. And I invited another friend to join us. We went to Maeva Club. It’s more of a lounge/cabaret here in Yaounde. We arrived there around 10pm, had a drink and ordered some food.  While waiting for the food, we chatted, sipped on our white Martini, and listened to the ladies singing sweet French ballads on the stage.  It was nice! We got our food – had some excellently-made curry shrimps with fried plantains, and Salma had a mushroom pizza (and Carlos was still not there).  Carlos arrived just in time for the show of the night: The MJ impersonation!!!

MJ impersonator is a Cameroonian albino guy, known as “Billy Jackson.” I thought, quite wrongly, that it'd be an amateur performance of a young Cameroonian-fan-of-MJ, but Billy Jackson rocked the show! His black leather pants and white shirt, his black curly hair,with a black hat on top, his red-lipstick, all reminded me of MJ. Plus his mannerisms –  biting his lower lip as he turns his head on the side and places his hand on his crutch, and throws his leg like a ballerina up in the air… Believe me, his performance was ON. POINT.

We were watching admirably how our very-own Billy Jackson performed each song of MJ,  from “Your butt is miiiiyyyne…” to “She was more like beauty queen from a movie scene,” to the song of the night, right when the clock ticked on midnight. The song started…  “It's close to midnight and something evil's lurking in the dark… ” and there, you had MJ’s 4 dancers coming out of different angles of the club. They were all dressed in hideous costumes made of rags, some with white-painted faces and black eyes, others with maggot-like things on their faces, and they were lurking in the dark club, scaring the hell out of the audience… oh my, it was for real creeeeeeeeeepy…  (and fun!) the zombies crawled through the room, and reached the stage just in time for the chorus: “'Cause this is thriller, thriller night…” And everyone sang along with them…ohhhhh... it was fun! and entertaining!

Me who had previously complained about the entertainment sector in Cameroon, had my share of entertainment that night. I highly recommend that show; and I'll definitely go watch it again!

Saturday (11/14): 

Cameroon’s qualification-to-the-world cup game (Nov. 14th) – Morocco vs Cameroon. 

Nfinyo invited us over at his place to watch the game and celebrate his birthday. I went with Cynthia, my PRO. Plus the dance crew of DANCE4LIFE, we ended up being about 30+ ppls in his living room. You can imagine what a lively ambiance it was as the game started.

For the first 35-40 mins of the game, there were no images on the TV-screen. Can you imagine? The entire Cameroon in front of their TVs, trying to watch this high-stake game, of their favorite team in the world, and there are no images! Hmmm… to say the very least, peoples were maaaad! We were watching TV like it was a radio man, i.e. the sound was coming out but no images. So when the first score came up, we didn't see the goal, but we heard the journalist screaming GOAAAALLLLLLLLLL!!!!  and everyone responded: GOAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLL!!!! Before you knew it, it was dancing, and clapping,and smiling, and hugging, and jumping, and "Cameroon Oyeehh!!!" and "allez les Lions! allez les Lions!"

10 minutes into the second half, the images came back, just in time for us to view, LIVE,  Samuel Eto'o’s goallllllll! This time around, it was just euphoric – some were dancing, others video-taping the scene, others drumming on their chairs, and others screaming on their cellphones.

The room was upside down!!! The Game ended with Cameroon beating Morocco Two-Zero (2-0). U can imagine the after-game ambiance!  We celebrated Nfinyo’s B’day –  he shared a delicious b'day feast with us - brochettes, jellof rice, home-made cakes, and drinks drinks drinks!

After a Cameroon-victory-game, you can’t ask a Cameroonian to go sleep that night. My gurl, Cynthia and I, were like “uh uh, we cannot sleep tonight”. Hehehe… so we called up some friends, and went out!

That was such a fun weekend!

Monday (11/16)

Calling is becoming cheaper and cheaper. Thanks to MTN! For those who know, now you can call 1min = 100FCFA instead of 300FCFA. And they bill you every 30 seconds (33Frs). Now I call and I talk till I’m tired, and I still have credit! Anywayz...

After 4 month living in Kmer, I killed my first mosquito yesterday! Can u believe that!? I myself I don’t believe it. I’ve lost my skills man. Or maybe the mosquitoes have adjusted to their environment and they are now as fast as flies... well that's what I'd like to think to make sense of my mosquito-killing-inefficacity! lol

Tuesday (11/17): 

Special shout out to my gurl Gifti- my Scorpio Bella and 222 Sister, turning 22 today. She is the craziest and funniest roomie I've ever had. And I miss her. Especially at this period; cuz last year we rocked our birthdays together. Can't get any cooler with the two of us in the same room. To my Gifti Kiyyah - Happy Birthday gurl! I pray God's amazing Grace stays present in your life, and may this new year in ur life be abundantly blessed. Love ya gurl!

They spoke about Harambe Cameroon on Radio France International (RFI) Live!!!! I was listening the radio-show with Joshua, and the RFI journalist from France called the RFI correspondent in Cameroon, Fabien Essiane. Fabien started telling his collegues in France about Harambe, “a network of Africans seeking to encourage entrepreneurship amongst their fellow Africans… for more information contact Olivia Mukam … email…” Ommmmgggggg, I was jumping around in the room, while calling people and telling them to listen to the show, and shouting OMG, OMG, OMG! lol. It felt EXACTLY like the day, on February 10th 2008, I featured on FOX news vouching for Obama’s presidency.  Ohhh mann… that’s been one of the most memorable moments of my life!

After the Obama rally at the Baltimore First Mariner, I was with my gurls – Mo, Gifti and Mireille. We were trying to get closer to Obama, but he was leaving the stadium, with a crowd of obamaniacs flooding around him, so we gave up on the opportunity of getting any closer to him. And it’s at that point that a journalist with a cameraman following him comes  towards us, he points at me and says, “you come”,  I’m like “me?” (while going towars him)! With the cameraman pointing the camera at my face, the journalist starts questioning me “so, what did you think of the rally?” “what do you think of Obama”, why does he appeal to you, “the youth”? I tell u, I was on the spot! I blurted out statements like “He helps us Believe/ transcend our fears to reach for something higher/ he’s a role model”, For what seemed like a minute or two, I was just talking… in my head it seemed like I was saying “uhmm” after every two words! Gosh… I felt so inarticulate! But I said what I had to say… The journalist asked for my name, he thanked me, and said the clip will feature “on the 10pm news tonight.” We didn’t even know what channel it was, we just saw channel 45.

I got home, googled what Channel 45 was in Baltimore, and figured it was FOX news. I dashed into Sarah’s room, my room-mate at the time, and screamed: “Yo gurl, I’ll be on the 10pm news tonight, speaking for Obama.” We ran to the living room, zapped the channels to channel 45, and waited for the 10 o’clock news. It was about 9:30pm. The clock ticked around to 10pm, and FOX-10pm news came up.

The first headline of the news was “Obama’s Visit to Baltimore.” They showed clips of him talking to the fifteen-thousand (15,000) people present at the Baltimore First Mariner that they, then they showed an interviewee (an African American middle aged woman) speaking about him for ten seconds; followed by another interviewee (an African American man in his 30s) saying something about Obama; and then… MOIIIIIIII!!!! Right there, my face appeared on national TV (An African woman, at 20 –at the time), telling America why they should go vote for Obama. Ohhh mann… how can I explain those 10 seconds of fame?! (hehehe). Sarah and I were jumping on the couch, running in the living room (well, I was the one running up and down), running to the kitchen, to the bedrooms, while screaming with excitement!!!! hahaha… u know, it’s the kinda excitement you can’t contain; or rather, you  don’t know how to contain… that was such a memorable evening!

Interesting enough, it’s not the first time I’m approached by a media channel to express my view about a particular subject. It has happened about half a dozen times already. And I’m always randomly picked amongst other people. I was interviewed by 2 radio channels, one year after the other, in the streets of Douala. Then in highschool, Cameroon’s Radio Television had randomly selected me in the National Library, to speak about the US embassy education program; then there were more instances, don’t remember them all… but I'm starting to trace a pattern here -  always randomly, the media is attracted to me. And I know the best is yet to come!!! (rubbing my hands in anticipation of bigger media appearances!)

Wednesday (11/18):  

Today is the French (qualification) game vs Ireland.

This game will determine if France joins Cameroon at the World Cup or not. I’m sure the entire Francophone Africa is watching the game like it was their team playing. At the beginning of the meet, as they play the French national Anthem, my two cousins stand up, place their right hand on top of their heart, and start passionately singing “La marseillaise” like it was “Oh Cameroon, thou cradle of our fathers…” I was just shaking my head, like “Look at me these French-subjects!” lol.

Anywayz… I noticed players in Europe are in-average taller and slimmer than the African players. At least, I can talk for the Irish and French ones I’m watching right now. All seem so slender and tall, compared to the short and buff Cameroonian players… just an observation. 

OMG,   this is so unfair. Thierry Henry’s hand was sooo flagrant! The referee didn’t see it though, and now France unfairly qualifies for the South Africa World Cup 2010. I was rooting for the Irish man…that Number 10 was giving the French team malaria! Lol.  But that’s so unfair though, that they are validating the goal. Urgh… it’s even ugly!

Sunday (11/22)

“New level, new devil… sometimes your enemies will catapult you to success more than your friends” – Joel Osteen

“God would not have allowed it, if He didn’t have a purpose for it” - Joel Osteen. We will never face a challenge in life that has to defeat us. God gives us exactly what we need.

Phil shared this great quote with me last week, which I’ve added on my wall-post (not my virtual fb wall, lol, my real-physical wall in my room). The quote is by Ward Churchill, he says: “One is obligated to speak the truth, even if one cannot live up to or fully practice it.”

I’m surrounding myself with positivity, positivity, positivity. Every time I turn my head in my room there’s a positive quote, or a biblical verse telling me:

“The best is yet to come”,

or “Though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil for you are  with me” (Ps. 27:4);

or the one I posted on my window which says: “If all the doors close, God will open a window.”

On top of my bed I have - “When the praises go up, the blessings have got to come down,”

and above my mirror:  “I tell you, you can pray for anything and if you believe that you’ve received it, it will be yours.” (Mark 11:24)

I arm myself with positivity. It keeps me on check. It keeps me in a habitual state of thanksgiving and optimism. I can only encourage you all to do the same :-)

Wednesday (11/25)

I met a very very interesting man today.  And I got offered a job! (an unpaid job to express myself. Hmmmm… in this time of recession, a job is priceless, but I don’t know about the “unpaid” part...To be reconsidered).

I don't know how to be indifferent to compliments, no matter how much I hear them. It's just something I can never get used to. I guess it's because I really don't see myself as "the beautiful lady", or "the intelligent woman",  u know? I am just being me! Simply me, Olivia Mukam to everyone, Titilayo for my Naija brothers and sisters, Akua for my Ghanains, Dabestchick for my Titans, Pretty-O for others, Oli for close ones, Oli-oli exclusively for family, Livy for Brian, Ohhh for Moohhh, Olive for strictly Julz and Prince (and occasionally Dija), Ah-ma for daddy, Ma-ah-tsing for grandma... I mean,I am just moi, in the full sense of the word. Not trying to be tagged/categorize as anything else. I'm thankful for all the blessings though! but as I always say, you are not judged by what you have, but by what you do with what you have. That's how I gauge myself... not by beauty, intelligence, means, or whatever other blessings God has showered upon me, but by what I do with all those blessings. So for as long as God will bless me and my life, I will continue to use those blessings I have, for causes  that are grander than myself, with a greater impact than my personal gain ... that's my  way to have a purpose-driven life, and to eventually be fulfilled.

Well, before I digressed I was talking about the interesting man I met, and then compliments. So the compliments I received today were different than usual, in that it was originally frank and refreshingly witty!

I never imagined for one second that I could be seen as a terror ! really! me!?How!?  This man said I'm men's terror, a danger to lucid men, a serial heart breaker. lol. I was like "uh uh! I don't break hearts, I mend them" (at least that's what I'd like to think, heheh). To be clearer, he compared me to a bully who wants to play with kids, but hurts them, without realizing it. And so the bully becomes a victim of his victimization. In the same way, he said, I am a victim of my involuntary torture of men, something like that! If that is at any degree true, then I'm sorry for torturing you, men. I would say in French, je le fais, Malgres moi! (I do it despite myself)... After a 2+ hours conversation,  as we departed, he concluded: "I survived!". Very interesting man indeed.

... Let me tell you about my quasi, very subjective and not at all rigorous, case-study of Anglophone men in Cameroon ... It's actually not a case study, it's just some observations I've made about 6 anglophone men I have met in the span of 4 months. Yeah, I know, it's like I have a magnet attracting them to me or something. lol. But seriously, out of 6 anglophone men I met: 

- 5 out of 6 of them speak with proverbs, metaphors and anecdotes. 

Like the one who told me "the man who plants his grapefruits by the roadside share the same problem with them man with a pretty daughter,"and another one constructs his own proverbs, and today this man tells me -  “Guiness slogan is “Bring out the power in you” you might have drank Guiness since your childhood" hehehehe... smh! Man are really inspired out here! But I tell you, I don't know if it's an anglophone thing! Proverbs and adage seem to be their mother-tongue.

Other stats:

- 6 out of 6 of them are high achievers,

- 5 out of 6 of them are very spiritual, giving God the glory for their life (The 6th one, I'm not sure, 'cause he's not very vocal about it!)

- And 5 out of 6 of them are highly cautious of women. Women to them are DANGER!DANGER!DANGER! lol. 4 real. They all expressed their wariness about women, either explicitly through their statements or implicitly in their behavior. 

I don't know if I can make an induction based on these observations (well, I actually can't make any conclusions, 'cause my 4 years of anthropology, sociology, political analysis, and more, have thought me better than to make a generalization out of a particular case.. Yet still, I'm tempted to make an induction, like in maths, u know?Based on one case u can generalize. hummmm...u know what? I'll leave it at that. Take it simply as  observations of my anglophone brothers.

There are few things more attractive to me than sincerity, genuineness, frankness, realness; or however you want to call honesty. I respect and admire people who are authentic – or in common jargon, people who are “REAL”. Whether you are a jerk and u are real about it, I might be more attracted to you than a dude trying to be perfect-patty… or you are an insensitive and unapologetic about it, I might admire you more than someone who is mechanically polite. Or you are stupid but u're real about it, I might be more attracted to you than a wanna-be Einstein ( Maybe not in this case… I don’t admire sincere stupidity, you gots to enlighten yourself). My point though is, I admire people who are real in their imperfections. Just be you! Be you! Be who you are! Be you! There are few things to me, more laudable than being a genuine and authentic person.   

I think being the “you” you are, is an expression of your liberty in society. (My mind just blanked out, can't express this thought further…might elaborate on this point later…)

Notice though, there's a difference between being real and being crude. Some people are brutally direct and they take pride in it, not realizing you can be direct without being verbally violent. It's what Obama calls "disagreeing without being disagreeable." It's a skill not given to everyone.  I see it more as Tact - the ability to make a point without making an enemy.  I have to say that people are not necessarily born with tact. It’s usually an acquired skill. You develop it after mistakes upon mistakes, after hurting many people’s feelings and feeling guilty about it. Basically, you develop tact in your process of growing, as you’re forging your character.

Speaking of character, my friend Nelda posted a great quote on that on her fb status. It said: “Good character is more to be praised than outstanding talent. Most talents are to some extent a gift. Good character, by contrast, is not given to us. We have to build it piece by piece by thought, choice, courage and determination.” John Luther

Indeed, the betterment of one’s character is a lifetime exercise. “We have to build it piece by piece by thought, choice, courage and determination.”

SonGoku au ciel: “Je moeurs de faim!”, Kaio son entraineur au ciel:  "c’est pas grave t’es déjà mort." lol. Was watching with my young cousin, and I'm the only one who got the joke. That's to say with age, you obviously watch cartoons with mature eyes and hear them with more alert ears.

Saturday (11/28):

I’ve come to realize that men might be even crazier than women when they start developing feelings for a woman. It’s like they can’t control themselves! hummm...

Some days, I really can’t wait to have a ring on my fourth-finger left hand! Not entirely because I can’t wait to find the love of my life and seal our love forever; but also because that ring on my fourth-finger-left-hand might help me be more concentrated in the pursuit of my dream. Not to say I’m not focused, I am. But I’m disturbed A LOT. Alright it’s not always disturbances; sometimes I enjoy it. But still, often times than not, I end up with someone in front of me wanting something completely different from me than the agenda at hand… u know, before coming back to Kmer, I was planning to buy a fake gold ring and place it on my left hand’s fourth-finger; but then, a friend rightfully asked me if I even considered the importance of that finger. And I realized that, I actually value that finger. I value my fourth-finger-left-hand so much that I won’t place a fake ring on it, even if it will facilitate my life a little bit more. So, for the time being, I’ll have to deal, as best as I can, with all those hungry-vultures trying to eat me (Hehehe...)

Michael Bubble is, for me, one of the best love-songs singers ever!!! His song-collection is on repeat, repeat, repeat!

Saturday Evening:

I was talking to my mom about the number of proposals that come my way… Really, I’m like “What’s happening here, do I have a note on my forehead saying: “I’m ready for marriage?” I mean, it’s like every man I speak to tries to capture me in their life! Anywayz, at each point I tell my mom about the men in my life -  I tell her, there’s this dude that said he’ll call each night until I understood he cares about me, and the other who said I’m all he dreams about, (lol, for real, BS!) ; there’s one that I kinda like, but he doesn’t have my time… and another who’s interesting but hmmm (still thinking); and one who just vows I’m his woman for life (hehehe!) I tell her all that. And she listens. (I know she’s happy to hear my stories; and I’m glad to share).  I don’t even know why now, more than before, I’m easily confiding in her; but I’m glad I am. She puts me a lot in perspective. When my emotions drunken my senses, she brings me back to lucidity. When I’m extremely passionate about someone, she helps me think rationally. When I’m about to jump into a relation based on my own sentiments, she reminds me to let God be the decision-maker in my life… Her advices are indeed priceless. 

As The Supremes sang: 

“ I need love, love, to ease my mind. I got to find, find, someone to call mine. But Mama said, "You Can’t hurry love," No, "you just have to wait." She said, "love don’t come easssayyyy, it’s a game of give and take!"... How long must I wait, how much more can I wait… you got to trust, give it time, no matter how long it takes” 

That’s one of my favorite songs, ‘cause I always seem to relate to it, somehow! 
(www.youtube.com/watch?v=UQQ2jPm0CO4)

Let me share some Words For the Wise from mommy. This is what she had to say:

• You are at an age when marriage proposals will be flooding your way ( totally true); they will come. Just listen, and pray God to enlighten you. And if you don’t cease the opportunity now, you might go for another 3 years without any proposals. U would wonder if there’s something wrong with you. By the time you’re 25-26 you might be approached again...

• Now, you don’t want a huge age gap between you and your husband. If it’s more than ten years already it becomes iffy, because by the time the woman gets to her 40s, she is a new woman - “elle est plus epanouit” – she discovers herself, loves herself, and her libido is at its premium. Whereas if your husband is much older, he will be in his 50’s – tired and not at his full prime. And so he might get really jealous, over protective, self-conscious, and you don’t want that. 

• Find someone you will build with, not someone who's lived your life already. Someone who shares your vision, who is a child of God and is God-fearing, and you construct your lives together.

• Beyond all that, you have to pray to God to send you “YOUR OWN” husband. Not someone else’s, your own. The one destined for you. Not the one you chose and then asked God to approve. No, the one He chose for you. Itt's true 'cause when you have many proposals, you might end up making the wrong choice. So place it in the hands of God, trust him, delight in him, and he will  give you the desires of your heart.  

• And remember, mom says, in your marriage, after the Almighty God, it’s your spouse FIRST! Not even the kids. Your spouse first, then the children. The hierarchy should be: God first, spouse second, children third, then… family, work, friends… etc.
  
  

What else can I say to top that? To know the Road ahead, you gotta Ask those coming back!