Kmer 09 - Thoughts, Experiences, and reflections (Week 2) - (Jul. 17th - 22nd) - Wednesady, 22 july 2009, à 14:07 
Second Week in Kmer ... More thoughts, experiences, and reflections...
- Wisdom words from mom: Il y a deux style d’amour (there are two kinds of love) : Aimer parce que (Love because) et Aimer meme si (Love even though). ON a souvent plus tendance d’aimer parceque (we often tend to “love because”), mais l’amour pure c’est “l’amour meme si” (but real love is “loving even though). Nous devons essayer d’aimer incondiitionellement. (We must strive to love unconditionally). That’s my daily objective.
- Just thought about this: Communist states are kinda like fundamental-religious states. They both try to impose a moral view upon the citizens. The communist theory believes it’s unethical for the rich to get rich and the poor to get poor. They communist theory tries to bridge the gap between the Haves and the Have-nots. Basically the communist theory is trying dictate a way of life on citizens. Similarly, religious states, try to dictate a religious way of life on citizens. Both kinda states, by perhaps trying to develop better societies, impede the freedom of choice of citizens. But if God Himself gave us freedom of will, why should the state impede that freedom?
- “Who is the Judge? The Judge is God. Why is he the judge? Because He’s the one who decides who wins or loses. Who’s my opponent? He’s a mere deception of the truth that I speak.” (paraphrased form “The Great Debaters”). This knowledge keeps me focused. I don’t prioritize on people’s approval, or get discouraged by their disapproval. The ultimate judge is God. At the end of the day, you have to come to terms with Him, and because he is omniscient, He will act accordingly (to your heart, actions and intentions) in your life. This knowledge liberates me.
- Maya Angelou, discovering God “God Loves me.” “I suddenly began to cry at the gravity and grandeur of it all. I knew that if God loved me, then I could do wonderful things, I could try great things, learn anything, achieve anything. P.112”
- Just like the little boy in The Alchemist, I’m asking my heart to never abandon me. To stay close to my chest whenever I’m drifting away from my dreams. And if I drift away from it, may it give me a loud alarm signal. And I swear, every time I’ll hear that signal I’ll be on my guards, and draw nearer to my heart.
- Dad has the memory of 10 elephants. On our way to the village, as we were discussing socio-political matters, one topic led him to name some African presidents. He listed all the Nigerian presidents’ names since their 1960 Independence (10?), all the Congolese presidents’ names since independence, all the Ghanaian presidents’ names since their 1957 Independence (5?), and more... That’s my extra motivation right there. Part of my motivation for learning social, political, cultural and economic details of any country/region in the world. I grew up with a dad who was a multidimensional global citizen. Thus, ignorance was never tolerated, but Intelligence was always appraised. I grew up knowing I must nourish myself with knowledge, not just about myself, but about others – other people, other cultures, other nations. As MLK jr said “Nothing in all the world is more dangerous than sincere ignorance and conscientious stupidity.” Educate yourself. You don’t want to be a danger to our world.
- Dad's life is worthy of an 800-pages biography. From his kidnap at the age of 2, in Mbalmayo for a month, to his life in Baffoussam with his tutor, to his extreme porverty as a young boy growing in the village, and his position as a 6year-old-messenger of the Anti-colonial army in the 1950s (Once, they stuck a crypted paper in his nostrils, so he can deliver it to some chief commanders). Then his dad dieing at the age of 36, when he was only 13. He was the one taking care of his father during those last days... Then his Academic excellence throughout highschool and college, despite his extreme poverty. And the fact that he was anti-women for most of his life, till he reached his 2nd year of university... from then on, he unleashed the Don Juan in him. Hmmm... In short, his life needs to be documented. He told me he's considering the idea of a Biography. To Be Continued...
- Africans are inherently spiritual people. Yet, amongst all the world religions, African religions are the most despised. Systems of beliefs, in every continent but Africa, have been recognized and respected in their own terms. Whether it’s Islam/Judaism from the Middle East, Judeo-Christianity in Europe, Daoism or Buddhism in Asia, Hinduism in India… they have all been valued as religions. Yet, when it comes to Africa, spiritual beliefs are dismissed as atheistic, witchcraft, or nonsense. An entire continent, entire nations, culturally and spiritually rich people, are dismissed just like that… by who? By non-Africans, and sadly today it’s by Africans themselves, who completely rebuke their own heritage. It’s very regrettable. We ought to think more critically about our heritage and put ourselves in perspective.
- "Emancipate yourselves from mental slavery, none but ourselves can free our minds..." Marley said it.
- I’m learning Bamendjou. I’m decided man. One word at a time. By next year, I should be able to write a paragraph in Bamendjou.
- An entire day following the footsteps of Bosses. Volumes of encyclopedia: My dad and his friend. Narrating stories about the Bamilekes.
Explaining the wealth of our culture.
Second Week in Kmer ... More thoughts, experiences, and reflections...
- Wisdom words from mom: Il y a deux style d’amour (there are two kinds of love) : Aimer parce que (Love because) et Aimer meme si (Love even though). ON a souvent plus tendance d’aimer parceque (we often tend to “love because”), mais l’amour pure c’est “l’amour meme si” (but real love is “loving even though). Nous devons essayer d’aimer incondiitionellement. (We must strive to love unconditionally). That’s my daily objective.
- Just thought about this: Communist states are kinda like fundamental-religious states. They both try to impose a moral view upon the citizens. The communist theory believes it’s unethical for the rich to get rich and the poor to get poor. They communist theory tries to bridge the gap between the Haves and the Have-nots. Basically the communist theory is trying dictate a way of life on citizens. Similarly, religious states, try to dictate a religious way of life on citizens. Both kinda states, by perhaps trying to develop better societies, impede the freedom of choice of citizens. But if God Himself gave us freedom of will, why should the state impede that freedom?
- “Who is the Judge? The Judge is God. Why is he the judge? Because He’s the one who decides who wins or loses. Who’s my opponent? He’s a mere deception of the truth that I speak.” (paraphrased form “The Great Debaters”). This knowledge keeps me focused. I don’t prioritize on people’s approval, or get discouraged by their disapproval. The ultimate judge is God. At the end of the day, you have to come to terms with Him, and because he is omniscient, He will act accordingly (to your heart, actions and intentions) in your life. This knowledge liberates me.
- Maya Angelou, discovering God “God Loves me.” “I suddenly began to cry at the gravity and grandeur of it all. I knew that if God loved me, then I could do wonderful things, I could try great things, learn anything, achieve anything. P.112”
- Just like the little boy in The Alchemist, I’m asking my heart to never abandon me. To stay close to my chest whenever I’m drifting away from my dreams. And if I drift away from it, may it give me a loud alarm signal. And I swear, every time I’ll hear that signal I’ll be on my guards, and draw nearer to my heart.
- Dad has the memory of 10 elephants. On our way to the village, as we were discussing socio-political matters, one topic led him to name some African presidents. He listed all the Nigerian presidents’ names since their 1960 Independence (10?), all the Congolese presidents’ names since independence, all the Ghanaian presidents’ names since their 1957 Independence (5?), and more... That’s my extra motivation right there. Part of my motivation for learning social, political, cultural and economic details of any country/region in the world. I grew up with a dad who was a multidimensional global citizen. Thus, ignorance was never tolerated, but Intelligence was always appraised. I grew up knowing I must nourish myself with knowledge, not just about myself, but about others – other people, other cultures, other nations. As MLK jr said “Nothing in all the world is more dangerous than sincere ignorance and conscientious stupidity.” Educate yourself. You don’t want to be a danger to our world.
- Dad's life is worthy of an 800-pages biography. From his kidnap at the age of 2, in Mbalmayo for a month, to his life in Baffoussam with his tutor, to his extreme porverty as a young boy growing in the village, and his position as a 6year-old-messenger of the Anti-colonial army in the 1950s (Once, they stuck a crypted paper in his nostrils, so he can deliver it to some chief commanders). Then his dad dieing at the age of 36, when he was only 13. He was the one taking care of his father during those last days... Then his Academic excellence throughout highschool and college, despite his extreme poverty. And the fact that he was anti-women for most of his life, till he reached his 2nd year of university... from then on, he unleashed the Don Juan in him. Hmmm... In short, his life needs to be documented. He told me he's considering the idea of a Biography. To Be Continued...
- Africans are inherently spiritual people. Yet, amongst all the world religions, African religions are the most despised. Systems of beliefs, in every continent but Africa, have been recognized and respected in their own terms. Whether it’s Islam/Judaism from the Middle East, Judeo-Christianity in Europe, Daoism or Buddhism in Asia, Hinduism in India… they have all been valued as religions. Yet, when it comes to Africa, spiritual beliefs are dismissed as atheistic, witchcraft, or nonsense. An entire continent, entire nations, culturally and spiritually rich people, are dismissed just like that… by who? By non-Africans, and sadly today it’s by Africans themselves, who completely rebuke their own heritage. It’s very regrettable. We ought to think more critically about our heritage and put ourselves in perspective.
- "Emancipate yourselves from mental slavery, none but ourselves can free our minds..." Marley said it.
- I’m learning Bamendjou. I’m decided man. One word at a time. By next year, I should be able to write a paragraph in Bamendjou.
- An entire day following the footsteps of Bosses. Volumes of encyclopedia: My dad and his friend. Narrating stories about the Bamilekes.
Explaining the wealth of our culture. - Some ideas that came out: Jangui is like the financial market, but with no computers. Bamilekes have always been using the economic “Game Theory”, way before it was conceptualized in the West. It’s always been in our traditions. Sassu Ngessu’s dad was Baham (unbelievable but true. We had an hour discussion about that.) And apparently the first mayor of Brazzaville was Baham. If you want the Congo DRC nationality, you can simply go there and request it. Apparently, it’s written in their constitution that any descendent of the (Monopao?Mapolao?Manopao?) group is a citizen of Congo. Ahmadou Ahidjo’s dad was Malian (?) That might be one of the reasons why he made the 1964 deals with Mali.
- Dr Paul Fokam Kammogne encouraged me to think about Political Strategy, or Border specialist, if I’m aiming to continue my studies at the Kennedy School of Government (he did an Executive course there seven years ago, so he remembers the program). Hmm… To be reconsidered.
- You rarely find people so wealthy and powerful, yet so humble. Someone who owns more than 50+ Banks in Cameroon, Africa and even Europe, but he is so humble. It’s very inspiring. I call it “Humble-Greatness.”
- In Bap’che they are raising rabbits now; and a couple of pigs.
- 3 hours with Tata Emilienne, eating Messang-Fuh and listening to stories about Bamendjou. From widow’s heartless ordeals when their husbands die, to the supreme sanctity around the chief, to the undocumented and silenced massacre of the Bamilekes. She told me how they’d go and hide in farms when armed militants were attacking the region. Funny stories of how they coped during the civil war…
- Our way back to yde was another experience. First we stopped at one of my dad’s friends place, an elite (Wutbe) of the village, and it happened to be their family reunion. Every member of the family
tries to meet up in the village for that weekend. This man inherited the mini-chieftaincy of his grandfather. There are about 27 house/huts, and he has about 40 wives.
- Wives in the Bamileke context, as my dad stressed, is not the Western way of seeing it. i.e. The wife is not necessarily the woman you have physical intercourse with. The wife is not necessarily the one you are sentimentally attached too. The wife is the woman you are in charge of. Amongst them there’ll be your lover(s), and the one you love, but wife is not equivalent to that, in the Bamileke culture. Thus, you find ppls like the Wutbe with 40 wives, but as he said, there are dozens who have fallen teeth already – the wives of his grandfather he “inherited” (in lack of better terms)- Masongwoh = A woman commander in Chief. There was a woman commander in chief who sharpened spares and fought during the colonial wars. The Wutbe my dad visited is her great-grand-son.
- On the way back, after an hour of conversation on every kinda topics, Dad started with his hymnal book for the last 2 hours of the trip. Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy singing the Hymnals from the Hymnal book my dad constitutes every year, for our family reunion in Christmas. But, passionately singing those songs nonstop for 2 hours man…
I mean singing every single verse, with the chorus after each verse, for 30+hymnals… can become a drag! But dad is ENERGIZER. He was singing every single song full-heartedly, with passion and enthusiasm; beating his hands at times, singing in Latin at other times, ranging from tenor to forced-alto and a not-so-quite soprano (at least he tried!); If you were in the car, you would have thought he’s a vocalist. For real. After observing him, I realized I inherited much of my zeal from that powerhouse!
- Dr Paul Fokam Kammogne encouraged me to think about Political Strategy, or Border specialist, if I’m aiming to continue my studies at the Kennedy School of Government (he did an Executive course there seven years ago, so he remembers the program). Hmm… To be reconsidered.
- You rarely find people so wealthy and powerful, yet so humble. Someone who owns more than 50+ Banks in Cameroon, Africa and even Europe, but he is so humble. It’s very inspiring. I call it “Humble-Greatness.”
- In Bap’che they are raising rabbits now; and a couple of pigs.
- 3 hours with Tata Emilienne, eating Messang-Fuh and listening to stories about Bamendjou. From widow’s heartless ordeals when their husbands die, to the supreme sanctity around the chief, to the undocumented and silenced massacre of the Bamilekes. She told me how they’d go and hide in farms when armed militants were attacking the region. Funny stories of how they coped during the civil war…
- Our way back to yde was another experience. First we stopped at one of my dad’s friends place, an elite (Wutbe) of the village, and it happened to be their family reunion. Every member of the family
tries to meet up in the village for that weekend. This man inherited the mini-chieftaincy of his grandfather. There are about 27 house/huts, and he has about 40 wives.- Wives in the Bamileke context, as my dad stressed, is not the Western way of seeing it. i.e. The wife is not necessarily the woman you have physical intercourse with. The wife is not necessarily the one you are sentimentally attached too. The wife is the woman you are in charge of. Amongst them there’ll be your lover(s), and the one you love, but wife is not equivalent to that, in the Bamileke culture. Thus, you find ppls like the Wutbe with 40 wives, but as he said, there are dozens who have fallen teeth already – the wives of his grandfather he “inherited” (in lack of better terms)- Masongwoh = A woman commander in Chief. There was a woman commander in chief who sharpened spares and fought during the colonial wars. The Wutbe my dad visited is her great-grand-son.
- On the way back, after an hour of conversation on every kinda topics, Dad started with his hymnal book for the last 2 hours of the trip. Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy singing the Hymnals from the Hymnal book my dad constitutes every year, for our family reunion in Christmas. But, passionately singing those songs nonstop for 2 hours man…
I mean singing every single verse, with the chorus after each verse, for 30+hymnals… can become a drag! But dad is ENERGIZER. He was singing every single song full-heartedly, with passion and enthusiasm; beating his hands at times, singing in Latin at other times, ranging from tenor to forced-alto and a not-so-quite soprano (at least he tried!); If you were in the car, you would have thought he’s a vocalist. For real. After observing him, I realized I inherited much of my zeal from that powerhouse!- Back in YDE the household is expanding. One more cousin joined the group. Now we are 10 and still counting. There’s still space…I remember summer vacations when we used to be 20 here at home. Cousins from Douala, Baffoussam and Yaounde, will all come for the holidays. The house would be clanging with laughter, cries, whining, and all those feelings that emerge when 10+ kids live together… Those times, as frantic (sometimes) as it was for me being one of the “little ones”, preserve some of the fondest memories of my childhood.
- I’m so bad with emails here man. It’s been one week I haven’t followed up with someone, and it’s been 2 weeks I haven’t responded to someone else, and I haven’t shared my newsletter this week. I need a time-manager in my life!
- 2 hours conversation with a very busy Doctor/cousin/older brother, probing me about getting fixed/hooked/engaged. He’s like “21, not yet 22… hummm… you are still young, but you need to think about your fiancé already.”lol. He has 2 guys in mind. 2 guys ready to marry. 2 guys who are young professionals, but find it hard to find a wife. 2 guys who’ve lived abroad. The first one is 24, too close to my age, he says. The other… “yes, 27, that’s better,” he says. As he explains, a woman should be with someone at the very least 5 years older than her, “You should not be dealing with the same problems. When you stress about your internship, your school, etc, he should be stressing about buying a house, a car, etc.” I’m telling you 2 hours discussing about these issues, before I escorted the doctor to his late-night surgery-operation. Very steamy discussion indeed, and juicy as you can imagine. I might not have shared his opinion on everything;but it was edifying to talk with an experienced older brother. He stressed that, it’s even because he loves me that he’s thinking about potential fiancés for me, and that of course, he’ll find someone of my caliber (at the very least), who would protect and provide, because that’s what they (my parents, uncles, aunts and cousins) all want for me. Who wouldn’t want that for themselves? Please, let them keep searching! I can only be glad I have wingmen/wingwomen, who got my back wherever I go. Can’t complain!
- Can you imagine, though, I haven’t even spent 3 weeks here yet, people from every angle are starting to talk “fiancé”. smh. Mum told me, her dream is to have all her kids married. Dad said, the house in Bamendjou is just waiting for a wedding, but none of his kids seems ready. A friend’s dad asked “so when am I coming to drink and eat the celebrations”, I’m like “don’t worry, I’ll be having a Kmer graduation party in 2 weeks,” He replies “noooohh, I’m talking about, when are we going to meet our son-in-law.” Lol. At this point I’m just amused by all those statements; at the same time I’m starting to think by the end of my year here, if every 2 weeks I’m advised and probed like the 2 preceding weeks, then their tacit conspiracy might actually come to fruition. Hmmmm… all I know for now is that, until proof of the contrary, I’m following my 5 year-plan. If someone deters me a little bit from it, then, he would have achieved an accomplishment.
- Unreliability is the gangrene of Team work. If you can’t deliver, you can’t deliver. You might provide excuses, reasons and explanations; they may all be legit and valid, but at the end of the day you have not delivered. And if that’s a constant behavior (i.e. more than 3 times), then you are unreliable, and you fetter the productivity of the team.
- Not many things frustrate me, but lack of communication and unreliability pricks my little nerve.
- Lemme tell you about this dude I met ….But first, lemme say this: I’m not an elitist or a snob, to the contrary I enjoy mingling with any kinda people – whether they are rural or urban, Slum-habitant or mansion-resident, villager or city-person, market-woman or CEO, pastor or atheist – we are all people, and I love people. So, when someone approaches me to talk/ “get to know me”, If I have time to spare, I let him talk. So, I was at the cybercafé, uploading pics from my laptop. You can imagine, with the speed of the internet here I had plenty of time to spare. I was twirling my thumbs, listening to the music, and watching the upload bar increase, one increment at a time. So, this dude comes along, u know typical, “hey, I’d like to see u again!” Dunno what happened to the art of subtlety, but these days guys seem to have opt out of courtship-lesson 101. So I’m thinking “weee eehh… Je v faire koman avec le jo ci” (How am I going to handle this dude?). Long story short: He goes ahead and elaborate on who he is, what he does, etc, like it’s a Casting or something. I have to say though; he knew how to throw in some sweet compliments and was a bit original. But yo, if you don’t have an education… man… I’m sorry. If you smell like beer when you approach me in a cybercafé… come on now! If the only way you can talk to me it’s at 5cm of my face… Ah beg, step aside!
- I’m so bad with emails here man. It’s been one week I haven’t followed up with someone, and it’s been 2 weeks I haven’t responded to someone else, and I haven’t shared my newsletter this week. I need a time-manager in my life!
- 2 hours conversation with a very busy Doctor/cousin/older brother, probing me about getting fixed/hooked/engaged. He’s like “21, not yet 22… hummm… you are still young, but you need to think about your fiancé already.”lol. He has 2 guys in mind. 2 guys ready to marry. 2 guys who are young professionals, but find it hard to find a wife. 2 guys who’ve lived abroad. The first one is 24, too close to my age, he says. The other… “yes, 27, that’s better,” he says. As he explains, a woman should be with someone at the very least 5 years older than her, “You should not be dealing with the same problems. When you stress about your internship, your school, etc, he should be stressing about buying a house, a car, etc.” I’m telling you 2 hours discussing about these issues, before I escorted the doctor to his late-night surgery-operation. Very steamy discussion indeed, and juicy as you can imagine. I might not have shared his opinion on everything;but it was edifying to talk with an experienced older brother. He stressed that, it’s even because he loves me that he’s thinking about potential fiancés for me, and that of course, he’ll find someone of my caliber (at the very least), who would protect and provide, because that’s what they (my parents, uncles, aunts and cousins) all want for me. Who wouldn’t want that for themselves? Please, let them keep searching! I can only be glad I have wingmen/wingwomen, who got my back wherever I go. Can’t complain!
- Can you imagine, though, I haven’t even spent 3 weeks here yet, people from every angle are starting to talk “fiancé”. smh. Mum told me, her dream is to have all her kids married. Dad said, the house in Bamendjou is just waiting for a wedding, but none of his kids seems ready. A friend’s dad asked “so when am I coming to drink and eat the celebrations”, I’m like “don’t worry, I’ll be having a Kmer graduation party in 2 weeks,” He replies “noooohh, I’m talking about, when are we going to meet our son-in-law.” Lol. At this point I’m just amused by all those statements; at the same time I’m starting to think by the end of my year here, if every 2 weeks I’m advised and probed like the 2 preceding weeks, then their tacit conspiracy might actually come to fruition. Hmmmm… all I know for now is that, until proof of the contrary, I’m following my 5 year-plan. If someone deters me a little bit from it, then, he would have achieved an accomplishment.
- Unreliability is the gangrene of Team work. If you can’t deliver, you can’t deliver. You might provide excuses, reasons and explanations; they may all be legit and valid, but at the end of the day you have not delivered. And if that’s a constant behavior (i.e. more than 3 times), then you are unreliable, and you fetter the productivity of the team.
- Not many things frustrate me, but lack of communication and unreliability pricks my little nerve.
- Lemme tell you about this dude I met ….But first, lemme say this: I’m not an elitist or a snob, to the contrary I enjoy mingling with any kinda people – whether they are rural or urban, Slum-habitant or mansion-resident, villager or city-person, market-woman or CEO, pastor or atheist – we are all people, and I love people. So, when someone approaches me to talk/ “get to know me”, If I have time to spare, I let him talk. So, I was at the cybercafé, uploading pics from my laptop. You can imagine, with the speed of the internet here I had plenty of time to spare. I was twirling my thumbs, listening to the music, and watching the upload bar increase, one increment at a time. So, this dude comes along, u know typical, “hey, I’d like to see u again!” Dunno what happened to the art of subtlety, but these days guys seem to have opt out of courtship-lesson 101. So I’m thinking “weee eehh… Je v faire koman avec le jo ci” (How am I going to handle this dude?). Long story short: He goes ahead and elaborate on who he is, what he does, etc, like it’s a Casting or something. I have to say though; he knew how to throw in some sweet compliments and was a bit original. But yo, if you don’t have an education… man… I’m sorry. If you smell like beer when you approach me in a cybercafé… come on now! If the only way you can talk to me it’s at 5cm of my face… Ah beg, step aside!
Hi,
ReplyDeleteCongrats for the blog about Bamendjou.
Please could you put me in contact with Bap'che, Bamendjou ? Who owns this project ? is it the mayor ?
my email : jeacq82@yahoo.fr
;)